What Is That?!?!

Okay everyone, I just had to make a quick post about this creature we- well, Chief found in our house . . . So, since summer has started I kept hearing noises that sounded like crickets in our house. I would try to find them and tell Ryan but he would just say "you're smoking, there aren't any crickets in our house". Well, I think I know what a cricket sounds like, and would call him at work and tell him "I swear, we have a cricket in our house!" He finally said, "Tori, it's just coming from outside. Tell you what, if there really is a cricket in our house and you find it, I'll give you a hundred bucks". So, I was searching high and low for this thing, but it was no where to be found. "Maybe Ryan's right, and I'm just losing it". Then a couple weeks ago, Chief was pawing at something on the carpet- guess what it was. A cricket!! So, this might sound really strange- but I hate crickets and grasshoppers. I don't know why, there is just something about how they can jump at any given moment and cling to you with those sticky legs that gives me the willies. I'd much rather kill a big spider, then have to get near a cricket. So- I made Ryan get this one. Well, I guess it was not the last 'cause sure enough, we kept hearing them and Chief kept finding more crickets in our house! We're up to about 7 now, and don't worry, I can still hear them chirping in our house. So, anyway- it's been nice to have cricket patrol Chief on our hands. The other night, Chief was asleep in our room and Ryan and I were watching good ol' Bachelorette in the front room, when Chief all of a sudden comes out and starts pawing the back of our TV stand. "Chief found another cricket." I say. So, we turn on the lights and scare it out from behind the TV and I start freaking out "That is NOT a cricket!!" As you can see, it was a nasty little creature that we still have not figured out what it is. I seriously hate nasty insects, especially when they are two inches long and I don't know what it is. Ryan was trying to get Chief to eat it, but- "What if it's poisonous??" I said. Ryan was like "Well, I'm not getting that thing, I'll be in the bedroom, let me know when you've taken care of it." How rude! I was seriously SO grossed out, I could not just get it with a paper towel and hear it crack and smoosh in my fingers- this thing was way too big. So, I went and found some tongs, got a hold of it, and ran to the bathroom as fast as I could to drop it in the toilet. Ryan and I couldn't stop thinking about it the rest of the show and when we got up to go to bed... Ryan found another one in his shoe! Ew! I made him take care of that one, he just picked up his shoe and dumped it in the toilet. But, they were seriously SO sick! Then of course I dreamt about them all night. Does anyone know what these sick little creatures are?? Please let us know if you do and put our minds at ease.